I had a crazy night yesterday. I didn’t sleep till 10.00 AM today. I was watching tv series on internet, started from 9.00 PM till 10.00 AM. At the middle of watching, I feel not well and I drank honey about 3 glasses so I didn’t get sick. And praise LORD, I didn’t get sick actually even I feel fine and not sleepy at all, especially since about 4.00 AM. Watching the dark sky turned to bright, it felt wonderful.
But I’ve made mistakes. I was supposed to finish the paper yesterday so I could bring it to my advisor today, but I didn’t and choose to watch internet instead. This is so lame. This is just not right. and I feel sad (T_T). Another mistake is because I watched there’s a hot young girl in the movie and I was interested. And you know what!! I tried to search for her profile and picture and then again, the addiction of lust came to me. I tried to search something that I was not supposed to be doing, and I feel ashamed for it.
But thanks to GOD, HE grab a hold of me and HE made me realized that what I was doing is not right. HE always there beside me to remind me of what I was doing. HE kept telling my heart that I must stop this immediately for the love. In the beginning, I was still not listening and getting deeper and deeper, till morning, I still didn’t listen very carefully to HIM.
Until around at 8.00 AM, some miracle, HE gave me again. I begin to see light in my heart about what I desired the most. “THE RIGHT KIND OF LOVE” and then I knew that I don’t want to hurt her by what I was doing and also I don’t want to hurt GOD’s feeling too anymore.
But I still didn’t stop it, I was still confused and I still had doubt in my mind and in my heart because of the lust. The urge of the lust at the time was enough to get me do sin again.
Then I took a nap cause I didn’t want to do anything wrong anymore. And I prayed to GOD to forgive me and to help me fight the temptation.
After I woke up, I was thinking again. Then I saw her picture, and I realized, I came back to my senses again. I’ve made the decision to love her with GOD’s way and I do not want to give up on it. Then I stopped all of what I was doing before. I destroyed all of it. Once again, GOD helped me again.
You see,
GOD NEVER GIVES UP.
GOD ALWAYS BE PATIENTLY WAITING FOR US.
GOD ALWAYS REMINDS US TO COME TO HIM.
MADE A COMMITMENT TO GOD.
PRAY THE COMMITMENT TO GOD.
BELIEVE IN HIM.
THEN WITH YOUR FAITH, GOD WILL ALWAYS HELP YOU THROUGHÂ GREAT DIFFICULTIES, GREAT TEMPTATIONS, GREAT CHAOS IN YOUR LIFE.
a small sparrow, loved by the LORD, and especially myself, loved by the LORD
